唉!女人!!!

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  Scores of women wondered,in some cases a little nervously,what they might be doing to puzzle,annoy and generally stump the men in their lives.Wonder no more.Here,just a few of the ways women make men crazy.
  I'm convinced that she sprays my closet and the sheets with her perfume.Everything I own smells like flowers.
  她一准是用香水将我的衣橱和床单喷了个遍,我所拥有的每样东西闻起来都有花香味.
  If I'm doing the dishes,she gets between me and the sink and does them,too.If I'm cooking,she gets between me and the stove,stirs,tastes,adds pepper.The only place she doesn't step in front of me is at the toilet.
  我如果在洗碗,她就站在我和水池之间;我烧饭,她就站在我和炉子之间,又搅、又尝、又加胡椒.恐怕她惟一不能站的地方就是我和厕所之间!
  If you open the refrigerator,you take your life in your hands.There's leftover turkey on top of yogurt on top of cottage cheese.If you're looking for,say,the mustard,you've got to unload shelf after shelf to find it,and then you've got to get it all back in.
  你打开冰箱时,无异于是拿自己的小命冒险,酪农干酪上架着酸奶,酸奶上架着剩下的火鸡.比方说,你要是想找芥末,就得先将一层又一层的东西拿下来,再将它们一层一层地放回去!
  She turns to me and,in all seriousness,asks"What was I just going to say?"
  她转向我,满脸严肃地问:“我刚刚说到哪儿了?”
  Her purse weighs more than she does.Whatever you need,it's in there:Band-Aids,aspirin,chewing gum,a tooth-brush kit,matches,probably a couple of hand grenades.
  她的钱包比她的人还重,你可以在里面找到你所需要的每样东西:创可贴、阿司匹林、口香糖、一套牙具、火柴、兴许你还能找到几只手榴弹!
  She clears the table while you're still eating,gathers up the newspaper while you're reading it,has your clothes in the washer before they hit the floor.
  你还在吃饭呢,她就开始清理桌子;你正读着报,她就开始收拾了;你脱的衣服还没落地呢,她就将它们扔进了洗衣机!
  No matter what she's doing,she exercises.She jogs in place in the bathroom while she brushes her teeth,does leg lifts in the tub,stretches when she towels off.The woman never sits still.
  她无论做什么都不忘锻炼.她在浴室里慢走,刷牙时,练习抬腿运动.擦干身体时,就做伸展运动.这个女人从没一刻静止的时候!
  She talks in food.Her dad is a peach;her sister's husband is a clam.Depending on her mood,I'm either dead meat or prime steak.
  她用食物来形容一切:她爸爸是只桃子,妹夫是蛤蚌,在她心情不好时,我就是一堆臭肉;她心情好时,我就是上等牛排.
  She wears these false eyelashes.She left them lying around and I slammed them with my newspaper,trying to kill the damn things.Scared me half to death.
  她总是戴着假睫毛.她就那么随意摆放它们,我还当它们是什么东西呢,就直用报纸去打,试图杀死它们.简直把我吓了个半死!
  She can't stand it if anyone talks down to her,but she reserves the right to play dumb when she wants to.She's talked her way out of a hundred traffic tickets by batting those lashes.And she manipulates me the same way.It works every time.
  她最恨人居高临下地对她说话,但当她需要时,她却保留了装傻的权利.她就那么扑闪着睫毛,摆脱了不下一百次被开罚单的命运;她也用同样的方式来操纵我,这法子每次都奏效!
  When she's mad or upset,she plays this old simon and Garfunkel song over and over and over.'Bridge Over Troubled Water.'It's a nice song but after two or three hours of it,I'll apologize,promise whatever,say anything,just to get her to stop playing it.
  她发火或是感到烦心时,就一遍一遍地放那首《忧愁河上的金桥》.这确实是首好歌,但在听了两三个小时之后,我会道歉,许任何诺,说任何话,只求她别再放了!
  She grunt while she cleans the house.Dusting a shelf,polishing a table,she goes,"Uh,Ungh.Umph."I offer to do it just to stop the noise.
  她一边打扫卫生,一边咕哝个不停.不论是抹架子还是擦桌子时,她都会“啊,嗯,哼”地哼个不停.我自告奋勇去帮忙,只为不要听这噪音!
  She uses the tenu"we"all the time."We like such-and-such.'We think so-and-so.As if we're one being one brain,one opinion.'"
  她总是用“我们”这个词儿.我们喜欢什么什么,我们认为怎样怎样,好像我们是同一个人,共用一个脑袋,拥有同样的主张似的.
  Her nails are so long that if she ever made a sudden fist,she'd slash her wrists.
  她的指甲留得太长了,她若猛一攥拳,定会割破手腕.
  She's always on the phone.I put in an extra line,so 1 can make a call now and then.But when 1 pick it up,she's got some-body on hold.
  她总爱煲电话粥,于是我又装了部电话,以便自己偶尔也能打打电话,但当我拿起话筒,发现她正让人在另一头等着呢!
  She cries easily.Happy things,sad things,future things,past things.Things that haven't happened.Things that might News stories.TV commercials.A flower.
  她特爱哭,高兴的事、悲伤的事、未来的事、过去的事,都能让她流泪.为根本没发生过的事哭,为可能发生的事哭,为一个新闻故事,一则电视广告,一朵花而哭.
  When she's depressed or has had a bad day at the office,she drowns her sorrows in chocolate.A double hot fudge sundae,or devil's food mocha cake.But she won't have a drink with me.Too many calories.
  当她情绪低落,或在办公室里度过了令人不快的一天后,她就借猛吃巧克力来消愁.但她却不愿和我一起喝一杯,理由是卡路里太多了.
  Nothing's wrong with her.She's perfect.Has no faults at all.And she agrees with me about that.
  她绝对完美,没有一点错误或不是:在这一点上,她和我意见一致.
海外英语合肥G381中学外语教与学20022002男人心思你别猜,看过下文就明白!黄斌The many ways women Drive Men Crazy 作者:海外英语合肥G381中学外语教与学20022002男人心思你别猜,看过下文就明白!

网载 2013-09-10 21:42:55

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